Is it Friday yet?

*le sigh* It's going to be one of those weeks.
photo of the newly adopted Riva was submitted by Jess D. of Brooklyn, NY

p.s. the little baby got in there herself!


They get their first real job out of college...

What do you mean kids these days are taking so long to grow up? All the kittens I know are graduating college in 4 cat years, finding a kitty condo with friends and getting their little paws out into the work force.

I'm ready for my first day of work, mom!
photo of Moe submitted by Brianne S. of sunny Tampa, FL


They orchestrate major deals from the comfort of their home office...

Moses the cat is a strategist, sales leader and expert in CPM "cost per meow." He works from home, but that doesn't stop him from sitting in on every weekly early morning sales call.

Thanks to Marta R. for giving Moses the respect he deserves.



Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape ... In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously touched in the head! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe ... for now ...


This diary entry was circulated as an email forward a few years ago. I would LOVE to learn who the original author was. If you have any tips please send an email to: catsforhire [at] gmail.com


They work for peanuts trying to make a difference in this world...

Harley has been practicing in the non-profit arena for 3 people years. The pay is lousy, the hours are long, but by golly does it feel good to make a difference.

Office Cat, originally uploaded by Mr. Ducke.

They want you to get in shape, girl.

Personal training packages start at $100 per hour and include a biscuit-kneading massage at the end of your work out.

0619090704.jpg, originally uploaded by kelly cree.


They have back-to-back meetings

A briefcase is the most crucial accessory for a successful business cat. Yes, it's a stylish way to carry sales reports and files, but more importantly it provides a clean space for a quick cat nap when putting in those long, 5 hour work weeks.

abbey_going_on_trip, originally uploaded by MRBECK.

They notice when you're not at your desk.

Mr. Jaspurr would like to see you in his office.


Jaspurr at work, originally uploaded by johnnyalive.

They are on deadlines, people!

Pepper owes much of her success to a great editor, a vivid imagination, and coffee...lots and lots of coffee.

Writing space.
Writing Space, originally uploaded by eldarbee.


They just keep rollin', rollin', rollin', keep them kitties rollin'...

It's not this cat's first rodeo. Get 'em up, move 'em out, wake 'em up, get 'em dressed, get 'em shaved, comb their hair, Rawhide!

October 31, originally uploaded by stacya.


They lead the executive branch of the federal government...

"I did not have pawsual relations with that woman."

photo via Huffington Post via 1994 file photo


They will not be called "a secretary"...

That's administrative assistant, thank you very much.  I don't get your coffee and I don't sit at my desk filing my claws.  This is a strategic career move, buddy.  One day I'll be running this joint.

photo of a purrfectly accessorized Athena submitted as an anonymous tip by a loyal reader


They call in sick...

Bluebell: "Cough. Cough. Um, I think I got food poisoning from a cheap can of food."

Boss: "Hmmm...okay, but we're going to need a note from your vet."

Bluebell on the phone, originally uploaded by JoshSemans.

They can't stay on top of all the paperwork...

Fur Four words: Is it Friday yet?

photo courtesy of Leonardo's Notebook by Mattheus Mei